as i am writing this, it's october 17th, 2019.

i created this website may 7th, 2019.

that's 164 days since i started website developing, yet.. i've never really revealed much of my identity/explanation.

* i don't really have any pictures of myself so here's a picture of my eye. i took this picture last weekend on a pretty happy day; hung out with a friend i met online that i hadn't seen in a few years. (:*

i'm 17, turning 18 in two months.
i'm just a girl from a wackly little city in california.
(who happens to love hello kitty, animal crossing, playing video games & listening to indie music. i LOVE julian casablancas/the strokes so much.<333)
i started this website to try something new; i mostly used it as a diary.
i made this when i ran out of space in my actual journal.
i wanted to be able to be creative & share it.

my life even before i started writing here has been incredibly unstable & crazy.
i believe i've had many mental issues because of the many outside forces throughout my life.

that being said, i've grown & changed & still am growing & changing so much as a person.
i don't know how i did it/am doing it, but i did/am.

i really, really love to write.

some of my life goals include:

to be a writer
write/publish a book (which i want to do before i turn 18)
travel the world
learn new languages
create a film
share/teach through my work
learn an instrument + produce music
meet & make really good friends
have a few pet cats
create a brand (maybe a fashion one)

& my biggest dream;

to live in a simple, small cottage house in the middle of a grassy-green fluffy field; wearing frilly dresses & spending my time outside picking berries.

THAT'S the life for me.

if you knew everything i've had to go through, & then you met me,
you'd probably be surprised how i'm even still here.

i've grown so much despite growing up being constantly broken down & going along in life without much outside help/support.
i mostly found it within me.

it was very hard but i managed to keep myself afloat through all the things i've had to go through & learn so far.
& yet there's still so much left to be learned..
i can't wait!

i might not be at the most preferred spot in my life right now,
but i *can* say i'm doing a lot much better than i was before.

there are still things i need to solve but i just feel a bit more stable than i used to be & i'm extremely happy/thankful for it..

anyway. currently i'm mainly focusing on graduating high school & moving from this place (not really a fan of this city).

i've recently abandonned all social media because i.. kinda hate it.

i will be completely transforming this website. <3

rather than having a virtual diary, i'd love to mainly focus on other/new things instead, such as:

a blog for me to write & share the many different/helpful things ive learned
art progress
music to check out
& just overall truly work on making creatively flourishing pages to my full-extent of things i love. :)

i'd also love to make a little archive of how this website used to look like. i think that'd be pretty cool!

*i know i keep saying "i" sorry if i sound full of myself. i tend to over-explain..*

for my first book i'd love to create a collection of my poetry.

thanks to pinkabyss *this original site*, i've gotten SO much writing out of myself from my poetry & diary & i WILL be using it for my books + adding some more new stuff (i've saved everything!)<3

to whoever has read/explored through my website, thank you for reading/seeing/listening/responding to my stuff especially through my chaos. i really appreciate it.

i was & still am very alone.

i was in desperate need for an outlet & this was it for me. i'm so grateful.

i don't know why/how i gathered the courage enough to publicly share my most vulnerable moments, but in a way i'm glad that i did.
it's been fun to make something out of my emotions on here. :)
(i can't even believe i've gotten 10k+ views)

it feels pretty nice to share, connect, express yourself creatively + emotionally & just let it all out without any holding back.

so thank you very much neocities for allowing me to do that!

i will eventually be renaming pinkabyss.
this site will probably change A LOT just like we all are :)

i am pretty busy being caught up in life's sticky cobwebs but i will work on this site whenever i can. might take a while. but hey it's a process. anyway thanks for reading. :))

hope you all will enjoy! & hope you are all doing well. <3
much love,

song: leave it in my dreams by the voidz <3 sign my guestbook? :)

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